You crazy ass. Shit you la. You are the one who started the cold war. But I must be the one to open my fucking mouth and apologise. Like what the fuck la! Super unfair can! Plus you didn't scold me for a damn good reason. You scolded me because of a retarded reason. And I don't have any freaking idea what caused you to suddenly scold the shit out of me. If it was the dumb question that I asked, you must be the most childish person in the world.
This was the question I asked: "Mummy, can I go out with my friend this Friday?"
That's it. Such a common question some people don't even have to ask. Was this the damn thing that triggered the crazy scolding and banging of doors from you?!? I was completely taken aback when you just started shouting. And what's with the staring? You think your bloody stare can tell me what to do? You think it's some sort of projector that projects what you want me to do into my damn brain? If you want me to do it, just open your damn mouth and say it, asshole!
Ok. Fine. I tried ignoring that burning stare and concentrated on further injuring my bloody finger. But you didn't even move an inch. What's more. You grabbed a chair, sat down and continued staring at me. I couldn't stand it anymore. So I just went: "What?!? I also never say anything!" And all she did was to continue giving me the fucking irritating stare. So I just gave up, went downstairs, and did the thing she wanted me to do. Wash the socks Like super what the fuck la. If I never say it, other people might think that I have done something extremely wrong. But all these bloody commotion is just 3 fucking pairs of socks. You read it right. 3 bloody pairs of socks. Which can wait till tomorrow.
Before I continue my ranting, there is one thing that I DID NOT DO AT ALL. And that is to stare at her and give her my attitude face. And she went complaining that I gave her a onw kind face. Whatever la. Look who's talking man.
So while I'm in the toilet washing the socks, I cried. But luckily she didn't see the damn tears. You might think that it's better that she sees it. Then she wil feel guilty. WRONG WRONG WRONG. Not only will she NOT say that, I think I might have gotten a sucking slap on my face, and get shouted at even more. That's how stubborn and unreasonable that asshole is. I shall not call her a son of a bitch. Because I love my grandmother. She is the best in the world. But I took her for granted. And I totally regretted it. But in this world, there's no time for regrets. So the regret shall stay in my heart for as long as I live.
Oh ya. After she's finished with scolding me, she found another random topic and shouted like a mad woman. I swear. And she bang the fucking door so hard, I bet the neighbours got awaken by it. Ok. Fine. My sister kena her scolding as well. But this is not why I am so fucking pissed. It's because she bloody forgave my sister immediately the next day. And she refuses to even glance in my direction. You may think that that's because I got two scoldings. But the fucking problem here is, I SMSed her immediately after the bloody unreasonable scoldings. And my sister did nothing but to continue playing the com. Ya. She didn't even say she's sorry. Like super unfair la! Biased to the max man!
So I continued trying to make her forgive me by smsing her about my whereabouts. Cause the next day, I was out with the clique. But she didnt even reply to my messages. Which made me regret terribly. Not because I made her angry. Which I didn't. But because I smsed her. She didn't even give a fuck about it. So why should I care? I bet she wouldn't even bat an eyelid even if I wasn't home by 12. That's how bloody stubborn she can be.
And now. To force me to say sorry, she's threatening to cane me. I am super pissed right now. She was the one who scolded me. She was the one who stared at me and gave me a one kind attitude face. She was the one who refused to reply my smses. She was the one who started this cold war. And now I have to be the one to apologise to her or get a caning.
Fuck her la. When I said that she treats my sister much better than me, you can tell me that I shouldn't say that. Because I am always the one having the latest phone. I am always the one that buys the things that I want. That she tries to get everything that I want. But I am not referring to monetary business. I am talking about our relationship. So what if she didn't buy as many things for my sister? So what if my sister didn't get a phone as expensive as mine? So what if my jeans are all more expensive than my sister's? What I want is to feel your fucking love. And where have you spent them on? My sister. How wonderful.
Whenever both of us greet you good night, you will reply to my sister in the sweetest tone. And all I hear from you is just a grunt. That's all. And no. We didn't greet her separately. We greeted her TOGETHER! And she can reply to the both of us in a tone that's worlds apart. How nice.
If you complain that we always never greet you whenever you come home, and you're scolding us for it, why can you forgive her in the blink of an eye but not me? Why do I always have to be the one chosen to be given the cold shoulder? Why am I the one who got all the canings since young while she suffered none? How can you slap me continuosly without blinking yours eyes and poke me in the chest till my skin broke and not even bear to touch a single strand of her hair? Why is she always the angle and I, the devil? How are these difference in treatments fair?
You say that I shouldn't say that she is biased. But after all these examples that I've given you and you still say that she in not biased, I will be left speechless.
Fine. I admit that I am the one that spends money while my sister is the one that doesn't spend unnecessarily. I am the one that have never gotten full marks or a first in class like she does. For the record, she scored straight As in her mid year exam. A feat I can never achieve. I am the one that sits on the sofa and hogs the remote control while she does the laundry and cleans the floor. She even helps me to wash my dishes.
One more thing. All she wants is respect. For us to greet her whenever she reaches home. But there is something she doesn't notice. Our relationship is changing. For the worse. We get irritated at the slightest things she asks. She tries to be involved in the TV dramas that we watch. But all she does is to ask us questions and make retarded comments and assumptions. And yes. We behave like friends more than mother and daughter. But the things we chat about are all the trivial stuff. She doesn't talk to us about anything personal. She doesn't invade our personal space and we don't talk about hers either.
In fact, I think my friends know more about me than she does. That's how pathetic our relationship is. Yes, we used to be closer. Much closer. But that's because my grandmother was still around. She can help us solve problems. She was the one that made the family band closer. She was the reason why we had frequent outings and dinners together as a family. She was the reason the prevented her from becoming astray.
There used to be so much laughter with my grandmother around. So much warmth. For one thing, we used to have fantastic lunch and dinner. But now, all we have is maggie me for lunch. And stir fried vegetables with microwaved rice for dinner. Even though there were much more restrictions with my grandmother around, I didn't mind at all. Because we were showered with love. Love that was unspoken. Love that was shown through her actions. And I never appreciated them. But without her, everything is not the same again. And it never will be.
She wants respect from us. But how can we show her respect wen she doesn't even respect herself?
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