The Big news first. 1. I gained 2kg!! Shit stuff. Have to lose weight. 2. I still HAVEN'T receive my package from TP! Walau. I damn worried la. But my dearie friend agreed to help me enquire about it. Dreading the day when I'm going to have the orientation. Means that I will have to start from scratch AGAIN. Really hope that people will approach me despite my fierce or proud face. Never judge a book by its' cover ;)
Went to Fish & Co. today for lunch. Went to do some shopping after that. My mum said i was extremely fussy cause i said no to everything. But, use you brain and think. If i don't say no to things i don't like and but it, wouldn't it be a waste of money? Cause I'm not going to wear something i don't like. So would you, right? Anyway, went marketing after that. Had to carry all the grocery home cause NO MORE MAID!!! But there's an advantage. Can go home early!! ha ha. Washing the dishes SUCK the most. So disgusting. Always wash till very irritated. Ha ha. And I'm worried that i never rinse away all the soap. Lol.
Mum started clearing out fridge suddenly. I was freaking irritated. But, have to bear with it. She was damn 'pekchek' yesterday. Nagging and nagging and nagging and nagging.......... Anyway, yesterday's charity show was damn sad. The monk sooo poor thing. He was so determined even though you can see that he as freaking tired. I'm sorry that I used to dislike him. Now, I like him :)
Yay! Mei jun asked me to go to the zoo! Ha ha. Happy that they remembered me. But I cant help wondering about something....... :)
Realised today that I most probably will never ever reach their 'level' mentioned in the last entry. I'm extremely positive that if i was able to be as close to this girl as they are, I will never even have to worry about 'that matter'. I will really be extremely overjoyed if i ever reach their level. But at the present moment, I don't think it's possible. Cause as compared to them, they have spent so much more time together. Having fun and sharing their secretive secrets and personal problems. I know my limits. Will it ever be possible for things to become what i want it to be? Maybe. If I was given the chance to spend more time together with them. How I wish , this day will come, where just one of them, anyone, will open their hearts out to me and allow me to lend them a listening ear. Not because i asked them to let me know their secret. But because they trust me for who i am and feel that their secrets will definitely be safe with me. But, there are numerous incidents that proved me loud and clear that I will never be their first choice if they really needed a listening ear. I'm always the odd one out. Not only with them. With other friends as well. When can I ever feel accepted? I feel insecure. Help me. Acknowledge my presence.
And jialin, I'm sorry. I don't think i will let you know who are they. Cause.... :) You go and guess la! Then tell me who you think they are.. ^^ Take care, have fun and miss me! :) See you soon :D :D
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